Blukel! Live a Life you always dreamed of.

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1.Some people re stupid oo, how can I be looking for my goat
and u re walking up and down with tooth pick in ur mouth

2. In my next world if am in the womb and I mistakenly hear
niger before u will even complete it Nigeria I will use my Mum’s
intestines and hang myself

3. Wen I was small I feel down from 2 storey building
I can’t even remember if I died because it has been long

4. Sometimes I feel like leaving dis country, but Wenever
I reach the airport, I will just ask myself
How can Nigeria survive without me
I will just come back

5. Can you imagine am looking for my weed so I went and
reported to police station, dat was how I nearly enter prison

6. If you want to kill a sokoto man just bath him wit a good soap
He will die

7. Dat am still leaving with my parents, is not because am not
matured to live alone
Is just Dat my parents don’t want to leave the house for me

8. Newspaper has killed me o, today I saw where dey wrote a
man killed himself and ran away
I just fainted

9. U Re calling ur girlfriend my queen, but once she ask for 20k
Kingdom will collapse
Igwe will run away

10. Facebook is bad o, I saw my friend and shouted nice pic
Payback

11. Today I saw my landlord’s daughter vomiting, I just started
packing my clothes
I don’t like dat compound again
Nepa use to bring light too much there
Before dey will spoil my charger

12. U said you re my friend, where were u wen I got 2 likes in 24
hours

13. I remember the day I smoked weed and my father was drunk
I came back and asked him excuse me sir have we met before
He replied no no no but ur face looks familiar
My mum shouted devil u re a lier

14. I can’t forget the day I was trying to toast a girl in a wedding
ceremony
So as I was talking to her, my mom just entered wit a plate of rice
and said
Muhammed dis is ur nyt food if you like eat it here
I tried to faint but I couldn’t
Oya drop ur comment
Which number made you smileπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚